For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity,
but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7 NLT
I spent this whole weekend in bed because I haven’t been feeling well. I was too tired to even watch my current k-drama. (I Am Not A Robot, if you were wondering.) So, my time was spent either sleeping or looking at old pictures and videos from back home.
I miss Hawai’i. I miss home. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my dog. I miss everything I left behind. And it’s hard. It honestly sucks.
I was born and raised in Hawai’i. I had never lived anywhere else, but Allen and I moved to Las Vegas for more opportunity. We’re in the middle of buying a house; we would never have been able to buy our own house in Hawai’i. I’m working at a job that I love, a job that I wouldn’t have if I stayed. While all of this is wonderful and we’re both so grateful, I miss home.
When I moved from Kaua’i to O’ahu for school, the homesickness was nearly crippling. I had such a hard time making friends and getting accustomed to the new environment. After class, I would go back to my room to cry. The anxiety attacks were awful. I had episodes of sleep paralysis for the first time in my life.
But God is good. I cried out. I prayed like crazy. He overwhelmed me with His peace and His love. He led me to a church where I met some awesome people. Over time, I made new friends and new connections. I now have fond memories of my time there, despite a rough start.
My point? I won’t be sad and homesick forever. I know that. My strength is in God, who has given me a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. I am not afraid. I am not timid. I am a child of the Most High.
I am especially thankful that He has given me a wonderful fiancé to go on this journey with. Allen really is my best friend, and I don’t know what I would do without him. He encourages me. When times are hard and I feel downtrodden, He reminds me that God is good.
If you are currently in a similarly uncomfortable situation, be excited! God is preparing you for a season full of growth and faith. All you have to do is allow Him to work in you. Trust God to work in you. Please let me know if you’re going through a difficult season. I would love to pray for you! ❤︎